Reminiscent
So after some random web surfing I stumbled upon an instructional blog for filmmaking that was created in the form of a Xanga, and it got me thinking……
What ever happened to Xanga? Did I ever have one? Do/did I know others with one?
So I did a little looking. Turns out TONS of people have or have had Xanga’s, and a good amount still actively update them. Xanga, which I thought had left society along with middle school, MySpace (for the most part) and AOL Instant Messenger is still alive and kicking; if a little unused.
Basically, here I am, looking at miniature blog posts from different parts of the lives I people I know or have known. Interesting to see how people change.
FXhome Awards 2008, and why this is a good day…..
I know this is a bit of an unusual time to be posting a new blog, but I’m in the mood for contemplation, and where else can I better express such thoughts than on this very website?
(If you’re interested in my thoughts on cinematography, et al, please bypass the next few paragraphs and head straight to the emboldened text)
Anyhow, down to business. Even though it’s only just 3pm, today has been a great day by all accounts - so much so that it’s worth blogging about. It began with a success in EDP, where I (thankfully!) got all my work done before 2am last night (this morning) then digressed to my small success in Physical Anthropology, where I made a B on the exam. Not the best outcome, yeah, but it certainly could’ve been worse. 
Also, a bit of bad news that no, we were not selected to be on the shortlist for the Empire ‘Done in 60 Seconds’ contest, but we still had a boatload of fun creating the campiest, cheesiest comedy piece we’ve ever done, and are proud to see it go ‘viral’ across our campus. Expect it in the cinema soon (it’s pending submission) or check it out on my YouTube channel right now. Either way, be sure to watch!
And here comes the zinger. Throughout most days, I check my Twitter on my iPhone, probably *almost* religiously. Though I usually lament all-in-one things like the iPhone and useless web services like Twitter; they work beautifully in conjunction. That being said, after checking Twitterific (iPhone app) about ten times over the course of a few hours, I discovered - much to my surprise - that the FXhome Awards (three of which I was nominated for) had been posted.
Needless to say, I pocketed my phone, withdrew my laptop from its bag and ran, ecstatic, to Texas EXpresso to grab both coffee and an internet connection. I opened my notebook, headed to YouTube and sat back to watch the awards presentation which, much to my excitement, featured some great news: that I’d won Best Cinematography. This isn’t just great because of the prizes involved, but because of a sort of personal validation it provides, and there’s more to that than you’d think.
What do I think about the award?
I’m glad to have won the award for cinematography because it’s something I really, really do try to excel at. I’m still learning (aren’t we all!) and still finding new techniques and new ways to approach scenes and I don’t think I’ll ever reach a point in this field where there’s nothing left to be learned. It follows, then, that I want to congratulate my fellow nominees who are just as deserving, if not more, of the award I’ve won.
What about the other films?
Conceptually, I’m not sure I had the best film. Shots in Maze of the Blind are immensely artistic and there’s a certain implacable beauty in them that I can only equate to my own film, Messages, though all-things-considered I think Maze pulls it off much, much better. There’s also Poppies, which I nominated for Best Cinematography and voted for Best Movie, which I found really very strong in almost every category. The thing that sets this apart, however, I think is the production value and not necessarily the cinematography - as I’m not the hugest fan of the present-day bits in it. Even so, it’s clearly very professionally made and I’m exceedingly happy that it won Best Movie. Then there’s the Templars preview, which, despite being produced what seems like years ago, is still an immensely solid effort. Really great, genius stuff all around.
This all being said, I’m so very happy that I won, and for this I require a digression….
Why cinematography is important….
In the awards nominations, I was put up for two films: Messages and Pages. While the former has a more visual, cinematographically-enhanced aesthetic, the cinematography serves only to set the mood, and doesn’t do much else. In shooting Messages I had one goal: to show the beauty of the nature and society within my neighborhood, and how even simple images like a cityscape can elicit deep, message-laden emotions.
With all this in mind, I’m not sure that I’d say that I think that’s what I want to get out of cinematography. I tried dearly to frame and rack focus on cool or pretty looking objects, but the shots were very much just that: shots of things that looked good. Granted, the vacuous nature of the shots was supplanted by a meaningful monologue, but then that would make the film very strong overall, and not necessarily by virtue of the cinematography. In fact, after I’d written my clever bits into the script for Messages it was just a ‘go out and shoot it’ process of catalogue on tape what I’d put into writing. Very simple in approach, my script dictated ‘pan to window, show smile enhanced by the natural light’ and things like that. In the case of Messages it was all very planned, perhaps contrary to the belief of some.
Then we get to Pages, where I think I took more creative liberty than I ever have. With most narratives I’ve done, I shoot for a general edit I have laid out in my head, then pass the torch to Andrew; who normally edits completely different than I had planned, but influential and effective nonetheless. A tough thing for me is scene transitions, which I usually shoot montage shots for and hope that Andrew can artistically seam together with orchestral bits.
With Pages, I tried a lot of new things that I think work well within the fundamentals of cinematography. We normally like to say "show, don’t tell" and I think if you consider my body of work, Pages works the best in that regard. I put a lot of thought into how to convey the story - however simple it was - without much dialogue and without a voiceover. I also had a hard time getting transitions to be clear, but that’s another story.
Essentially, what I did with Pages and what I’m proud of is how intricately the concept of ‘the reveal’ works in it. I made a point of opening every scene with a close up and then slowly cinematographically showing an outward reveal. Why? Because that’s pretty much how our story works: we find a closed in, introverted character who reveals himself once he’s put into a wider play with more people - as evidenced by his car conversation and the final scene.
I took some risks in Pages, and a few of them show through. In terms of color and light composition, I used heavily the neutral density features of the XL2, which helped to show depth in closed-in shots, and worked particularly well in the first shot under the bridge - where Brian comes into view from waking up (my favorite shot in terms of things I’ve DP’ed) - and in the ultimate reveal of the Dallas skyline, where Brian’s relatively darkened (silhouetted, in a way) face is separated immensely by the glowing, ethereal background.
The latter shot was a particularly criticized one by many people I talked to. A lot thought the contrast between Brian and the considerably bright landscape behind him looked bad, because it obscured his features slightly. What I guess people fail to see - and I fail to convey, in a sense - is that there’s a reason for this dimension: we want to show Brian as indeed separated from the world, hence he is contrasted to the world around him (dark and silhouetted in comparison) and far, far from it; as evidenced by the sheer distance between him and the city.
Ultimately, though, I think I’m proud of the cinematography in my film because I didn’t insist on sticking to one parlor trick. Yes, there’s slow motion montage. And yes, there’s light flashes and flickers. But I think, in Pages, it’s less of a trick of visuals and more of a cohesive element of how the story is told. A flash through the journal helps us see what the protagonist sees. A pop-zoom of the area around Brian clues us in on how deserted and confused he feels. And a closely-framed dialogue in the car shows us how potentially uncomfortable and awkward conversations with a hitchhiker can be. And a rack focus on signage outdoors works in tandem as our hero focuses himself on the tasks at hand.
In the end, while it certainly has its faults and is certainly not the greatest thing ever made, I’m immensely proud of what I, personally, was able to accomplish in Pages. While I didn’t quite set a standard for others, I feel like I set a standard for myself in terms of how I used the camera to tell the story, and that’s why I’m just so damn excited about winning this award.
I want to thank FXHome for hosting the awards, and thank all who voted for me - including fellow FXhomers, fraternity members, fellow film students and even strangers who saw things like the ‘Batman’ film and decided to invest further interest into what I was doing. I may not personally know 90% of the people who voted for me, but I can say wholeheartedly that I personally owe them thanks for contributing to my success as a filmmaker.
I’ll have more to say later, likely in a video blog, so stay tuned. But for now, thanks for reading.
New Monologue Shoot
Hey-o, just thought I’d post a few stills from a monologue I just shot with Brian. It’s an excerpt from Truman Capote’s "In Cold Blood" - as I may have mentioned in a previous post - and when completed it will be in crystalline HIGH DEFINITION quality.
Look forward to it, it should be concise and pretty spiffy visually.
Gearing up
Today is gonna be a pretty hectic day, despite the fact that I woke up at 2pm.
Basically, within a few hours, I have to corral Josh and Brian, run to Goodwill for a cheap suit to film, find wigs, secure locations and get my HEAT parody completed. All this, with really no idea of what, specifically, I’m gonna do. Hell, I’ve never even seen HEAT, just bits and pieces (which are the bits I intend to film).
Now I have to run to Toys R Us and get a hockey mask….
Back in the swing of things, with mild distaste….
Hey ladies and gents. It’s been a while since I last posted a blog on here, and I figured now is a better time than any to get things going again. So….where to begin?
For starters, I finished my fraternity pledgeship. What I had dreaded and put thought into nearly all of high school is now over, and I can’t help but feel bad - if not nostalgic - about it. Here I started this large, seemingly endless shared experience with twenty-eight other young men and now it’s over. By the end of initiation, I was tired but altogether pleased. The fact that I got accolades from HMMK and got to paint the basement as I saw fit (at least half of it) was also a good feeling.
That being said, my expectations for the Greek life post-initiation are sorely diminished. Before continuing, let me delineate: I thoroughly enjoyed pledgeship. In fact, I loved it. But what I thought would be a process to take our group of lofty teenagers and transform us, gilded, into men united did not produce the results I expected. I thought we would come out even and clear in the end, as individuals taught as equals by a system of brothers. What I didn’t realize, however, was that once our common task was removed, it made our differences all-the-more glaring.
What am I talking about? Well, my friends, I’m talking about money. Not just money, but my lack of it.
In hindsight, it wasn’t a careful assessment of my situation, but a tactful ignorance (I’d like to think those terms aren’t as antithetical as they appear) that drove me to join a fraternity. As means of personal - and socioeconomic - self-preservation, I suppose it would have been wise to unearth my financial instability and acknowledge that because of my circumstances I shouldn’t have joined one beforehand. And yet, despite my meandering thoughts, here I am. In the fraternity. With no money. I swear, I didn’t see the Ben of six months ago putting himself in this situation. Christ.
Seeing as most - if not all - reading this probably have no idea what I’m referencing here, let me be more clear. You see, my lack of money prevents me from paying for my fraternity. Not paying (or paying smaller amounts) means that not only am I in the brotherhood’s debt, but my status there hangs by a diminished thread. This means that any time I miss a meeting or forget to move my car or anything, really, I am afraid that I give license to others to boot me from the brotherhood. What I earned alongside my peers is, in a sense, thrown out the window in place of the money my parents earn. So, in truth, brotherhood isn’t something that I share through dedication, it’s something I either pay my way into, or flounder in the attempt.
I don’t know why I’m so surprised. I guess I should have seen this coming.
Despite the generous accommodations that the executive board of ZBT have made, personal degradation remains in lieu of my mounting debt. There’s not much others can do to help this really, but as long as I’m in the fraternity I have this awkward stigmatism that I’m less than everyone else, or that I don’t deserve to be where I am. What adds insult to injury is glaring tasks that, despite their good intentions, actually do serve to publicly - if not implicitly - identify me as a monetary pariah amongst my friends and associates.
I recently caught wind of a call denoting my financial involvement in the fraternity, and how if I were to screw up any of my ‘responsibilities’ I would be kicked out. Let me ask you, then, is that brotherhood?
Obviously fraternities cost money. Obviously. But, having paid out-of-pocket almost a thousand dollars, and having devoted weeks of my time and talents to improving the house, I feel cheated. If money was always going to be the biggest deal, I almost wish the frat had told me "no" at the beginning. Now I’m put in an impossible situation: submit to inferiority, or get the fuck out.
Is this really the reason I put myself through all their bullshit? To end up here? I’m sorry, but this is normally a situation I would straight-away avoid and now that the issue is up in arms, I’m without a real course of action. As foolish as this sounds, I’m considering quitting, because I feel the fraternity feels they may be better off without me, although that would mean I’ve made a semester-long, thousand dollar investment in……nothing, really. Nothing more than a lost opportunity. This is, of course, permitting I quit.
What do I do?
Well, let me tell you one thing. I’m not quitting. As much as I think about these things, I’m in it to win it. Whatever the costs. I’m damn well not going to be made into a subservient pushover, and I’m not going to be referred to as fucking ‘twin’. I more than earned my spot in the brotherhood, and I’m not going to have some overzealous, world-weary alumni tell me how to spend my time in college. I have a stronger will than to be someone’s bitch.
Fresh Vids
Hey-o.
So it’s almost Christmas time and I’ve gotten behind on my blogging, so sue me. Even so, I’m probably going to be writing up stuff almost every other day following tonight, so be ready. Anyhow, the reason I’m posting is because of a video I shot yesterday (and quickly edited this evening) of Rhys Williams doing a cover of Rihanna’s "Umbrella".
Checks it out….
So that’s about that. I hope the embedding code worked alright!
Forget what I’m saying
Disregard my last blog post. Too dramatic.
Yeah, shit’s tough. Yeah, it sucks. But that doesn’t mean I have to bitch and moan like every one rant in the blogosphere. God, I fear what I may become if I do embrace that complainy lifestyle.
Either way, I’m alright, everything’s chill. Aaaaaaand, I’m up at 7:00am. Beat that, bitches.
Fuck this.
I dunno if I’m gonna stick in the whole RTF program at UT. It was a lot of big talk, and we got shown the studios and everything, and it all sounded good. But then I get here, go through almost two semesters in RTF classes and……I’m incredibly disappointed. I feel like they baited and switched me, I dunno.
No hands on stuff. Students don’t produce any films, really. Ever. Maybe one student film at the end of a year. Are you kidding? Other kids at other schools are on actual sets shooting stuff, and I’m here suffering through film theory that I’m going to get a C in?
Fuck it. I could be an English major, I got an A on every RHE paper I wrote in the summer. I can make movies. So why can’t I make it through effing RTF314?
One more thing….
Despite being uber-excited about the Vimeo account, I’m also working on a fully-functional personal page to accompany this blog in all its glory.
ADV304 already has me making one for a grade - which I need to stop sleazing with my group on, but I digress - and so I figured now is as good a time as ever to start the design/coding train back at full steam. Check the tentative design…
I know, I know, it’s a bit of a throwback to my MySpace days of design, what with the polaroids and the wood grain; but I like the noveau look of the water color brush strokes, and I like how 80’s and artistic it looks. I dunno, but I think this might be my best design yet. Yes, better than VoteStettler.
That thought alone scares the living Christ out of me.
